In Pursuit of (Momentary) Happiness

It is safe to say that everybody wants to be happy.

Will everybody be happy? I'd boldly say YES. Intrigued? Go on.

To start with, happiness is one of the biggest misconceptions in life. Most of us think that it is the ultimate goal,  something that eludes us until we finally hit the jackpot. People spend a lifetime pursuing it, trying to force it and at the end of the day when they feel their time is almost up, they'll ask themselves, "Am I happy?".  If I were to ask that question to myself knowing that my end is just around the corner then my answer would be a crispy "Hell no!", that would probably qualify as one of the most upsetting moment of my life. But if I were to ask myself, "Was I happy?" then my answer could have been different.

My point is, Happiness is not the jackpot that we long for nor the ultimate goal that we seek. Well it is a goal in a manner of speaking but it isn't as grand as we perceive it to be.

Happiness is a state of a moment, an instance or an event of being happy. More often, it is just a temporary feeling. But although it diminishes real fast, it is quickly replaced by our unending drive to be happy again

Humans are programmed to chase happiness. It is what we always aim for. The best thing about it is, we are capable of achieving it at least once a day and that my friends is what keeps us moving forward, what keeps us in our pursuit of a momentary happiness.

Life they say is a cycle, a series of ups and downs. I strongly agree. One moment we are happy the next moment we are gearing up to seize it back again. 

So kick that ball, score that goal and once you did score, savour the moment, celebrate, be happy then run back out again and plan for your next attack. 

:o)

Mano Po

A Filipino Family Value

"Let me tell you this, I don't care if it is part of your culture but it is not proper to grab my hand and place it onto your forehead." The priest warned before he gave his final blessing.

I was standing there shocked.

"Asking for my blessing after you have received the ultimate blessing from God is an insult to God himself." He continued.

I am still frozen, unable to process what I just heard. Obviously referring to us Filipinos inside the church.

I glanced at my children and saw the confusion on their faces, I shook my head, a sign of disapproval from what we just heard. In my mind, I was like; I need to correct this nonsense.

Why would the priest say that? What is his basis? Did he just attack our Filipino Family Values? There were so many questions running through my mind.

There must be a logical explanation to his behavior. A behavior which to be honest, took away a huge chunk of respect I had for him.

Slowly, I tried to dissect what just happened and make a sense out of it. Here is what common sense dictated. 

The priest, being a non-Filipino doesn't have a clue on what he is saying. In our church, after the mass, these priests would stand next to the exit and shakes hand with their parishioners as they go out.

For Filipinos, we don’t shake hands with priests; we bestow the highest respect to them by raising their hand to touch our forehead. We give them "Mano" and this is probably where the culture gap sets is. Or should I say, Ignorance. Not by the priest but Ignorance of my fellow Filipinos.

Why do I blame my fellow Filipinos? Because I know the priest, he is one of the most sensible priests I have ever listened to. And he won't be so insensitive about matters like these if he didn't do his own little research. 

What could have happened? 

Our church, just like any other place here in Singapore is a multi-cultural environment. A lot of Filipinos volunteers for church work, me included. So, if there is non-Filipino from the church wants to know our ways, there is always somebody nearby, a Filipino to ask from. 

The priest was probably puzzled on why we aren't shaking hands with them instead; we pull their hands and place it onto our forehead. So what would a smart priest do if in doubt? Yes, he would ask a Filipino what that gesture is and what it is for. 

Since all of us know that "Mano" is a Tagalog word, the fellow probably converted it to English, and what do we commonly call "mano" in English? Yes, we commonly call it "Bless". Probably the guy even go further by telling the priest that it is an act of asking for a blessing, thus the priest stance on "mano".

Looking at the priest's point of view, I couldn't blame him. The problem was, he was misinformed.

Let's do a quick analogy of the term that we use for "mano" and it's REAL meaning.

Mano is a Spanish word, which directly translates to Hand. That is why when we want to give respect to our elders we say, "mano po" which directly translates to "hand please".

Now where did the term "bless" come around? It came around because when we give this highest gesture of respect to our elders, especially our parents, they would normally say "Kaawaan ka ng Diyos" which translates to "May the Lord BLESS you". 

During the course of time, we have identified "mano" with "bless" and eventually these two words became synonymous to each other. Our parents would normally tell us "mag-bless ka" if they would ask us to pay our respect to our grandparents. The more appropriate or more accurate term for that matter should have been "Pay your respect". 

We are not asking for a blessing, we are paying our highest respect without asking anything in return when we "mano". Our elders’ response of "May the lord bless you" is just a voluntary prayer to reward the gesture. 

So could I blame the priest for his stance on "mano"? Certainly not. Should I blame the fellow Pinoy who imparted his thoughts to the priest? Partly, yes.

Did I mention that I was a volunteer in the church? What I asked my children to do is to continue to pay their respect to their mother and me by doing "mano" after each mass. Deep inside I am hoping the priest would notice and ask me about it. But that never happened.

It's been almost two years since that church incident happened. A lot of things have changed.  We moved to another house and also moved to another church. But up to this day, that incident haunts me.

Filipinos please be informed.

Chompin Humans

Does anybody ever wonder how much we, humans eat?

Ok. I may be a bit too fast. Let me tell you why this question popped out of my mind.

Rewind…

One night, just like any normal night I am sitting in front of my computer. My well cushioned seat is already warm with my natural butt warmth, a sign that I am still alive and clicking (mouse) and also an indication that I have been sitting there far too long. And what am I doing? I’m browsing a page popularly known as Facebook. Typing some comments on pictures and statuses of my friends which I hope would make me look either witty or funny.

Let’s face it, everyone does.

Facebook has become a phenomenon. It also defied all the privacy rules our elders once protected so valiantly during their days. Today most people who visit this so called social networking page do these; Allow their friends (and strangers) know where exactly they are at that precise moment, share what they are currently doing and feeling and tell and show what places they have visited.

In short, we allow other people to have a peek into our everyday lives and have a bit of an access to our brains as well. The scope of the word privacy is getting smaller each day.

Another fun thing that we love doing these days is posting pictures, everybody has gone digital when it comes to pictures. We now see it every single day. Face pictures with tongues sticking out , portraits of people flashing the “peace” sign (hippie’s rules!), photos of girls blowing their mouth which honestly looks ridiculous to me, photos of half-drunk men raising their glass to the person holding the camera, almost anything we think worth posting, we post.

But there is something I noticed which made me wonder on my very first question above.

For the past two or three years I have seen so many pictures of food which I only see on cookbooks and McDonalds counter before this phenomenon existed. All of a sudden, pictures of food and people eating are flooding the facebook pages. It doesn’t matter if they are showing the people with food or the food itself, they are everywhere.

We love food, period.

People gather for special occasions like birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings, weddings etc. And to make everybody happy we put food on the table. It won’t be a successful gathering if we go home with our bellies empty. Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the time people come to eat. Every one is a cookie monster, so to speak. We chomp and we chomp and we chomp. We are all like a pacman, no wonder it was a phenomenon in its own right back in the eighties. We are born to live and to live we EAT, simple as that.

So it is now clearly established that people love to eat. We do this repetitively on an average of three times a day, seven days a week, thirty or so days a month and so on and so on. With this in mind and with information at my fingertips (google) I did some clickin, typin and computin ( I dunno, I just felt cool omitting the ‘g’ from those words). And what did I stumble upon will shock every human being who would read this (I am guessing somewhere between four and five, my wife and I included).

Are you ready? Here goes:

Fact, Earth is about 4.55 billion years old. Fact, there are currently close to 7 billion people on this planet. Fact, 50 years ago (1960) the population is almost half of the population today registered at just over 3 billion. Fact, the earth’s mass is 6.0 × 1024 kg, or simply 6,600,000,000,000,000,000,000 (6.6 sextillion) short tons (6.0 sextillion metric tons). Now that’s quite heavy.

Where am I getting at? Here, if our population growth becomes steady for the next millennium or two which means double every 50 years and each human continues to eat an average of 1 Kilogram of food per day, the mass of food we would have eaten would equal to the mass of… wait for it… the ENTIRE EARTH.

Yes, according to my calculations it is safe to say that we could have eaten the entire planet in a little over 15 centuries that is one and half millennium from today. You might say my theory is absurd and bizarre but it’s a plausible theory nonetheless.

Can you imagine? Us the people living on earth can actually eat food equal to the mass of the planet we are living in, less than two millenniums from today. That is mind boggling. It’s like Burrrrgggggee... (mind blowing, with hand gestures and spit flying).

Not to mention the amount of food we Homo sapiens have eaten for the past 4.55 billion years. WOW! That is awesome! Think about it.

Now, there are only two things I can conclude based from what I have written above, either I have a very playful imagination or I just have way too much free time on my hand to actually take notice of this.

You decide.

I’m HUNGRY. :o)

A Sad Tale

I am the center of attraction.

Friends and relatives alike always take notice of me whenever they visit.

My family always makes sure that I am up-to-date with every occasion worth remembering.

I am the source of their happiness.

But that was then.

Now, I sit here alone.

Nobody notices me anymore.

I haven’t been updated for God knows how long.

I am now forgotten and longing for attention.

One day, I was pulled out from where I was resting.

In the beginning I couldn’t comprehend what was happening.

Dusts were wiped off my covers and my pages were once again opened.

I felt the touch which brought warmth and a feeling of nostalgia.

I haven’t felt that good in a long time.

Finally, the bad dream has been broken. Or so I thought.

Suddenly my plastic lamination was torn off.

Pictures were taken one by one.

Pictures I have embraced and protected for so long.

Pictures I kept and have been a part of me.

One by one they were placed on a scanner.

I heard about a similar story like mine some time ago.

I just didn’t realize it would also happen to me.

Postal stamp was the first to complain.

And I’m pretty sure you heard about the story of Dyolen, Sipa, Goma, Teks and others.

We suffered the same fate.

Forgotten in an era they now call “Digital Age.”

:o)

My Hero, my Friend, my Handkerchief

I seldom go out without a handkerchief. When I started going to school my mom introduced this tiny piece of cloth into my life, and I have been carrying them ever since. In fact my right pants pocket is strictly for hankies. Loose coins go to the left. Candies go to the left. Small toys go to the left. Chewing gum for reuse of course goes to the left.

Everything except hankies goes straight to the left.

When I was young, hankies were the recipients of my occasional spills. Milk, orange juice, chocolate drinks, yakults you name it. They were always there when I need to wipe the sweat off my face, when I need something to sneeze on and not to mention my occasional “Pfffffftttt” when I have a runny nose.

They are one of the most useful inventions man has ever made, right next to the moon buggy of course.

During my high school days, it was my favorite gift for my girlfriends. I used a plural word because I had 2 or 3 back in HS but not at the same time of course (whew...) Reason is because it is easy to find, very useful, colorful with fun designs and of course the most important thing is; it is not very expensive. It was one of the nice things my allowance could afford at that time.

I know, I know. You heard about the elders saying; it is not good to give out hankies because you only gonna make the receiver cry. I don’t believe any of that stuff. For me I believe more in my pockets than my elders.

Before Facebook, Friendster and other social network sites came up; Filipinos have their own way of expanding their so called social network. They use hankies. Yes Hankies. You get an invite when you see a girl drops a hankie. Intentionally, unintentionally it’s very hard to distinguish. And you accept the invite by picking it up and running after her. I believe this is still being practiced up to this very minute.

Yes, hankies have been around since time memorial. It was even speculated that on the original version of Noli Me Tangere Maria Clara used the hanky drop trick to get Crisostomo Ibarra’s attention. Of course that is just pure speculation everything depended on Jose Rizal’s imagination. Even Andres Bonifacio has a red handkerchief over his shoulders when he tore down his cedula in Balintawak along with thousands of Katipuneros who bravely fought the Spaniards after that.

Somebody should put up a monument to commemorate those hankies that fought alongside our Katipuneros.

Here in Singapore, they don’t fancy handkerchiefs like Filipinos do. Here they use tissue. Tissues here are sold everywhere. Everybody carries a packet in their pockets because you don’t get a free tissue even if you buy a meal. You have to buy them separately. Here, tissues are recipients of their occasional Laksa, Hokkien Mee and Hor Fun spills.

Following the saying; “When you’re in Rome, do what the Romans do”, I did what they were doing. I try to carry around a packet of tissue whenever I can. But my right pants pocket is still reserved for my handkerchief.

So when I came here I had a dilemma. I’m not sure which pocket the tissue will go in. So I decided it will be on my left breast pocket. If I’m wearing a breast pocket less shirt then I don’t carry a tissue at all. I just rely on my old friend.

Today I found the tissue useful. Maybe they are not as efficient as my trusted friend down on my right pants pocket but it’s alright. They can address to most of my occasional spills and wiping my face perspiration but one thing I learned about tissues is they cannot hold off my most nasty nose “Pfffftttttt”.

They shatter into pieces. Unlike my battle weary friend.

:o)

Seryosong Kasalan

I have always been amazed with wedding invitations, specially the poems and the couple's pledge of love that goes with it. So when it's our turn to get wed, being a self-proclaimed nonconformist I decided to write our own wedding poem that says exactly what and how we want to say it. :o)

Sariwa pa ang lahat sa aming isipan

Nang aming mga mata’y unang nagtipan

Isang ngiting naka-ngiwi ang pinakawalan

Pa-beautiful eyes with matching ngisi ang isinagot naman.

Simula noon, kami’y naging mag-tropa

Umaatikabong asaran, biruan, at kulitan sa opisina

Minsa’y inuman hanggang abutin ng umaga

Aming kalooba’y lihim na nahulog sa isa’t-isa.

Lampas sampung taon, ang lumipas na pala

Simula nang nangyari yung first stanza

Ngayon ay hihingin na namin ang blessing NYA

Upang ang aming tipanan ay ma-formalize na.

Sa araw na ito, kayo ay magiging witness

Sa pagmamahalan na pwede na sa guinness

Sa dambana maririnig nyo ang matatamis naming YES

Para sa pagsasamang wagas, until we lay to rest.

Bago pa pala namin makalimutan

Ang aming pamilya ay malapit nang lumisan

Sa Singapore kami ay maninirahan

Kung kaya’t CASH na lang at wag na kagamitan.

:o)

Mad World

I posted this entry to my Friendster blog on July 26, 2007.

Sitting in an MRT train is a man holding a bible, eyes fixed on the thin fine pages. His hand keeps on flipping the pages. Pauses for a couple of seconds, as if reflecting and checks if he is being noticed. Then pretends to read again and continues with his page-flipping.

Empty.

A woman talks about her church-going habit openly. She prays, mentions and discusses about her religion with regularity. But then again, she is not well liked by her peers. Is it because she’s too holy for them? Or is it because what she say and do are poles apart? It’s the latter.

Hollow.

A group of people says they are the “chosen people”. Salvation is for them alone come apocalypse. Berates and attacks other religion to the point of threatening their lives.

Neurotic.

Another group, considered as one of the “most devoted” to their religion, speaks about their God all the time and at the same breath swears to kill and wipe out all their “enemies” regardless of age, race and gender.

Madness.

God and religion is being used as an excuse to gain acceptance, fame and power. From an innocent looking man who just wanted to be noticed, to the killers of thousands of innocent lives (and still hungry for more). How a humble act of submitting oneself to God did became a source of all these chaos?

Has the world really gone MAD? Or it was always this way from the beginning?