I posted this to my Friendster blog on July 15, 2007, a day after my Father passed away. This has got to be the hardest blog/letter I've ever written. It took me several hours to finish because I couldn't contain my tears.
He and mom lives in New York and I couldn't be there to attend the funeral. This letter ended up being read as his Eulogy. How I wish I was there to personally read it to him.
I have always been what they call a “mama’s boy”.
I grew up with mom.
You were always away, working.
That is why we rarely share a picture together.
When I was young I was longing for a father figure.
I used to ask myself why aren’t’ you beside me?
Why do you have to go all the time?
Am I asking too much?
But then I came to realize that you were doing it for me, for mom and my sister.
That I am so much luckier compared to what you have been through.
So what I did was I tried to cherish every moment that we spent together.
And I listened intently to all your stories.
You introduced me to history. You made me like sports.
I remember one time; I asked you every part of a song called “we didn’t start the fire”
And you gave me all the right answers.
From that moment on, you became my idol.
Not all people are as lucky as I am to have a father like you.
We may not be together all the time but we can communicate.
We laugh at the same joke; we feed each others sense of humor,
We even had secrets which we share together.
But what really amazes me is how you started everything.
How you manage to put all the pieces together
Like a jigsaw puzzle.
Considering all the things you’ve been through.
You started this journey alone.
Your father died before you could even speak.
Then grandma passed away before you met mom.
You were alone, young and totally on your own.
Most people would simply crumble in such situation.
Most men would easily choose to take the dark path.
Weak people would give up right there and then.
But not you, you were determined to make your life meaningful.
You started this family with practically nothing.
You wanted to become a father for me and my sister.
And for a guy who never felt a father’s embrace I must say you did a great job.
In fact you set the standard so high I sometimes wonder if I could even come close.
Now, as you join our creator
We, your family, the family that you have started, will go on.
We will miss you, for we love you so dearly.
But we will let you go, for we know that is what you want.
We will continue with the journey you started.
We will use the memories that you left us as a driving force.
Because you were the driving force of this family.
A family that has become so loving and caring.
The Baton has officially been passed on to me.
Now let me finish my race and I pray that I will also have a good run.
Thank you PAPA for all the love, memories and strength.
Thank you for instilling in me the values which I now possess.
I will always be a “mama’s boy”
But I will also be your MAN, Forever.
I will try my best to give back all the love that you gave me to my children.
That way, your legacy will continue.
This is not goodbye, not even a farewell.
You have just been elevated to the next level.
Take a bow, have a well deserved rest. My hats are off for you.
Until we meet again.